Shake n Stomp

I read today an article on the BBC website about false rape accusations: http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/magazine/7265307.stm

It made me consider the issue of rape, and in particular those more boarderline cases.

To me rape was always about the worst kind of crime, to destroy someone's life through that kind of perversion of sex was as bad as murder (or worse). Not only would it be an unimaginable trauma, but also a destruction of the ability to enjoy the highest expression of love.

However, as a reached an age where I began to understand more the real nature of sexual interaction I began to learn that rape was not always such a clear cut issue. What I had always considered was rape as an assault, in it's worst form. But what about cases where there was no intention of rape, drunken nights which were later regretted, or forgotten. I think that having sex with someone who may regret it later is both irresponsible and harmful (to both parties), but I think it is also a far cry from assaulting someone in the street and violently raping them.

I think as a guy it's something that is probably too rarely considered. While we may never have considered ourselves even remotely capable of rape I am sure most of us can picture a situation where we may have done something regretable, or irresponsible. Of course for us regretted sex would never be considered a rape, but when a girl regrets it then potentially it could be. Is this a double standard? Maybe to some extent. I would tend towards the view that women need more rather thn less protection - but I don't deny that in some cases the man can be the victim.

Definately men should take more responsibility for their actions and not put themselves and others in situations that are undesirable or even traumatic. However, there is a responsibility on women to be considerate of this as well. Take into consideration a man's position! Many girls are deliberately ambiguous about their intentions and desires, and this can only increase the problem. While I sympathise with girls who are usually victimised and for who this is a serious issue I feel that girls who are less than clear to themselves or other people are putting themselves at risk of irresponsible men, who while definately in the wrong are perhaps not the monsters that they will be portrayed as if they are accused of rape.

What shocked me in some ways most about this article also was the reaction from some women. I would agree that the fairly small number of false accusations are less serious than the large number of unreported cases. But to have absolutely no sympathy for male welfare and concerns seems to me offensive. It is no surprise that the feminist movement is alienating most men, and increasingly most women! After all most women concerned for their own rights and welfare shudder at the male hating attitude of some feminists. Is it any surprise they feel hesitant to asociate themselves with a movement that at it's most vocal is simply hostile to men. The world has changed and most women I think would be more comfortable thinking themselves as feminists if that movement better represented the majority of women.

The article I read, however, was not concerned with cases of ambiguity, in which I think men probably should recognise their responsibility for their actions. It was rather focusing on cases of actual false accusation where no rape of any kind occured. These are not a huge number of cases, but according to the article as many as 3-9% are proven false (presumably the actual number may well be somewhat higher). This is a fairly significant number of victims.

It seems to me so hateful and abusive that girls would use this to destroy someones life. Because even when proven innocent the stigma of accusation will always remain (and in the UK certain legal remifications). Not only is this an abuse of sympathy towards rape victims (and therefore a complete offense to all the genuine victims), but it is an undermining of the system. For each false accusation suspicion is cast on the other cases.

I think it is terrible that so many lives are ruined by this, when sex should be an enjoyment of love. But societal attitudes and expectations towards sex need to improve. The emphasis should be on guys to behave more responsibly, to encourage responsible sexual behavious in their peers especially and to take into consideration the implications of what they are doing - because you may never think of yourself as a rapist but one day look back and see how close you have come to the line. I have been inclined to consider girls free from blame, but I am beginning to reconsider this view. Even if they carry a far smaller share of the blame I think that by making themselves clear and taking responsibility for their own actions they protect themselves and help remove some of the ambiguity that surrounds rape.

Hopefully I have treated this very serious issue with a considerate approach.