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Apr. 22nd, 2008

bad day

Bikini Girls with Machine Guns - The Cramps

There are many great things about America: sorority girls, free refills, college football, watching the Cubs loose. But none of these things would be possible without guns!

For the first time a couple of weekends ago I fired a gun... but not just one gun, six! All because a little things called the second fucking amendment: the right to be a badass! After the 21st and 12th it's definately my favourite.

But owning a gun isn't just about looking cool and settling disputes (Burr vs Hamilton anyone?) it's also fundamental as a positive check on the population.

So today's lesson is Malthus, the dreariest, least loved of all the economists. He gets a bad press because he predicted over population and disaster - which never happened (excpet in Ireland... but who cares about that?). However, I think it's time to examine Malthus in relation to contentious issues in modern America, gun control and birth control.

For Malthus population grows faster than our ability to supply it with the necessities of life. As a consequence it must be checked by either mortality (positive checks) or decreased fertility (negative checks).

Gun control is clearly bad for America because guns provide a positive check on the population. Birth control on the other hand provides a negative check by reducing fertility so it's also good. So you should carry a gun and a condom on you at all times. Incidently perhaps we need another ammendment to enshrine the right to birth control - right to protected sex.

So the moral of Malthus is, go off shoot guns and have a lot of sex, but use birth control. I think that's pretty simple.

Mar. 10th, 2008

bad day

I Want to Know What Love is - Foreigner

 We all know love can be written as <3, and if we assume having sex can also be written as "1/2ing 6" we can show the following:

1/2ing 6 = 3

Love = <3

Therefore having sex is not love.

However..

1/2ing 6 twice = 1.5

1.5 IS <3

Therefore having sex twice IS love!

Simple as that.
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Mar. 5th, 2008

for you

Get Fucked Stud - Biffy Clyro

It is well known to economists that currency comes about so as to improve trade. To simplify here is how it works:

To trade good A for good B the owner of each must want what the other has - this is called double coincidence of wants. If I want your pie but you don't want my meat then trade cannot occur.

To solve this currency occurs so that if I want your pie I can buy it with cash. And you can spend the money on whatever you want. That's a gross simplification, but hopefully makes sense.

When it comes to sex however we rely on the occurance of a double coincidence of wants. We have to find someone who not only has what we want (ie. their hot sexy body) but is also willing to trade it for what we have (our body). This creates a massive under supply of sex in the market, this is market inefficiancy as demand is never met!

So the solution, surely, is to pay for sex. In this way we trade it like any other good or service. The prices will adjust and markets will clear (assuming no barriers to entry etc.) And all the people who would be having sex anyway can still trade without money. By insisting that sex must be free we only remove a large amount of trade, and therefore utility gains, from the economy.

Not only does this mean that people can have as much sex as they can afford. It also means that people can derive income to spend on whatever they want. So although you could spend the money you made from having sex on having sex with someone else, you could also spend it on, say, a nice vase.

As well as a lucrative career for the underqualified there is a potentially huge market in part time prostitution as a supplementary income for say housewives and college students, who don't have the time for full time jobs. Furthermore, assuming high demand from the male demographic this could really help close the pay gap.

I think you will all agree with me that this is a much more economically efficient way of exchanging bodily fluids.

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